Sex is a commitment. Once you're there, you can't go back to holding hands, and when you give yourself, both mentally and physically, well, you're completely vulnerable.
Harry Burns: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone
is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or
later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this
dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone
calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid wagon wheel ROY ROGERS GARAGE SALE COFFEE TABLE!
Jess: I thought you liked it!
Harry Burns: I WAS BEING NICE!
Sally: He just bumped into Helen.
"You can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can't fool me. I know
who you are."
"You don't know anything about me loser."
"I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest in the heart but actually you're the most scared of all."
"I know you steal batteries you don't need and you push away anyone who's wiling to put up with you because just a little bit of love reminds you of how big and empty that hole inside you actually is."
"I said shut-up!"
"I know them scientist what made you never gave a rats ass about you."
"I'm serious dude!"
"Just like my own damn parents who sold me, their own little baby to slavery. I know who you are boy, because you're me."
Wondering if you're happy is a great shortcut to just being depressed.
"You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you." - Sally after Harry's declaration of love
Smoking's gross. It gives you cancer.
"All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed
to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll
have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is
married to your husband." -Marie on the difficulty of being single
"When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side." - Harry explaining his dark side
Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and persuasive is the belief that falling in love is love, or at least one of the manifestations of love.
"You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?" -Pro relationship tips from Harry
He just didn't turn out like I thought he would.
"There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance." -Harry explaining women to Sally
This is the really hard part. And then what happens is, there's a hard part and then it gets better. And then it gets hard again, but never mind.
"Harry, you might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice." -Oh snap! Good one, Sally
I don't make choices, when they... about women. They just... come to me.
But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real if it's out of a can then nothing." -Sally's crazy ordering
Figure out how to be yourself in all this mess.
(Reference: IMDb+"The 25 Best Quotes From 'When Harry Met Sally'" from )
Love is supposed to be a feeling that you feel. People say that they're falling in love, but they're not actually falling in love. It's a fake connection that you feel with someone... and marriage should never happen.
"I'll have what she's having." -Rob Reiner's mother reacting to Sally's faked orgasm
You don't kiss a woman unless you know what you mean by it.
Harry Burns: The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe you're either (a) not at home, (b) home but don't want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please call me back.
Why are you fine being sad and alone?
Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment.
Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman. What they could do to make it easier is combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.
Whatever you think your life is going to be like, just know it's not gonna be anything like that.
"You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death." -Sally to Harry
How much you love the kid. You're just pretty much screwed.
"All this time I've been saying that he didn't want to get married. But the truth is he didn't want to marry me. He didn't love me." -Sally sobbing after she finds out her ex is engaged
You don't have very many funny lines.
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love
Sally Albright: What?
Harry Burns: I love you.
Sally Albright: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry Burns: How about, you love me too.
Sally Albright: How about, I'm leaving.
You never tell me what you're gonna do. You just do it.
"It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk." -Harry trying to break the awkwardness with Sally
Do you want to fool around... with me?
Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a
symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.
Don't you need a man to raise a man?
Harry Burns: I miss her.
Sally Albright: I don't miss him. I really don't.
Harry Burns: Not even a little?
Sally Albright: You know what I miss? I miss the *idea* of him.
Women's sexuality, defined by men to benefit men, has been downgraded and perverted, repressed and channeled. Anatomically, all orgasms are centered in the clitoris, whether they result from direct manual pressure applied to the clitoris, indirect pressure resulting from...
"Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and
all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math." -Sally
on faking orgasms
"You know, you may be the first attractive woman I've not wanted to sleep with in my entire life." -Harry to Sally
He has every right to be mad.
"You made a woman meow?!" -Jess reacting to Harry's latest sex story
The next time a dude tells you a sex story, you just have to agree with everything he says and act like it's right, even if it's not, because they don't wanna be contradicted. They just wanna live in their fantasy lands.
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve.
I don't want you to end up in the same place as me. Well, I wanted you to be happier. And I just didn't think I could do it by myself.
I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." -Harry's epic declaration of love
She started sneaking into my house.
"What I'm saying is--and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form--is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." -Harry exlaining his entire philosophy to Sally
Man always feel like they have to fix things for women or they're not doing anything, but some things just can't be fixed. Just be there. Somehow that's hard for all of you.
"Because of God." -Sally of why they don't make Sunday in the days of the week underpants